How to Officiate a Wedding


By: Rev. Jesse Amiel A. Ramoso

Mock Wedding with a Korean Couple
Ice Breaker: Normally people around are tensed and stressed in the preparation of the wedding, the officiating minister can lessen the impact if he knows how to crack jokes and and good advices. This blog is to tell my experience in this Korean couple marrying in a Filipino context. Koreans has different way of handling and conducting a wedding, usually based on their culture or based on western culture.

Legal Paper:  most important for the minister to do is make a program and script. In making script, you have a chances to avoid awkward and embarrassing statement for the couple or for the family. This is also a chance for a minister to do segue for cracking jokes and at the same time leave a powerful message that would hold the couple on their marriage life. Another things to do is to check the marriage contract. Check the date of births, middle names, addresses and spelling of names of every person involve in the contract. Names of the officiating minister, license number, spelling of his name and etc. For the couple it is also important to check the correct spelling that is provided for the NSO, specially the status and the spelling and correct date of birth; this is to avoid null and void for the marriage contract. 






PROGRAMS:  The program of the wedding organiser and officiating minister should synchronise. Usually the wedding organiser should set everything from the small details of decoration up to gown and the entourage of the groom and bride, the sponsors and even the music and sound system, some may include photography and videography; but this is expensive. Some couple would decided to make a low budget of wedding ceremony, cost cutting from hiring wedding organiser or coordinator usually is the major issue. I would suggest to find a wedding organiser that can do a low cost, but elegant  presentations of the materials. Therefore, do a research and preparation at least one year.

Photography:   After the wedding ceremony, usually couples want to have a remembrance for their memorable day. It is nice if the traditional picture taking will be cut short some other not important group of people like, extended family, friends, batch mates, and church mates. The only thing that is important for the couple to get in traditional picture taking if, first with the ministers, with the parents both sides and the ministers, with the parents, ministers and the sponsors "Ninongs and Ninangs" only, then with the bride's maids and the rest of marching group of people that is involved in the program. The batch mates, extended family and other group of people can wait, and do picture taking in the reception. This is to avoid overtimed use in the sanctuary, some churches has limits in the usage of sanctuary that they always ask the officiating minister to cut short his message which is very important. If those couple has a chance of using the sanctuary in unlimited time, then there's no problem of time constraint.

Giving gifts:

    Usually people give gifts, ministers should encourage this following things. If the couple has a financial capabilities don't give finances that will soon vanish. Give a sort of wedding and family advices that is done like a personalise mani-book for them, or take a short video shot and give them a good advices. reminders or words of wisdom for the couple. Usually, during the honeymoon stage for the couples they don't argue, but when the honey period ends, and there is a crying baby cries in the odd time, then arguing begins. The prostrations starts to filing up and the are a lot of surprises and expectations does not met. This is a crucial stage for the couples, that they usually disoriented themselves and preoccupied with their family and work responsibility. This is  a high time for them to dig up wedding their memories, like videos, and pictures; if gave them words of wisdom, this will help them build the family. If the couple has no financial capabilities, it is important to give them cash for them to buy their necessities to maybe help them pay their debt (utang) in financing their wedding ceremony.

Honeymoon period

Minister should advised what is important for the couple to do in the honeymoon period, not just giving them advise about sex. The honey period is usually their first night of having a legal and moral freedom to join together. Honeymoon is not about sex but about the celebration of being ONE, joining together in the sight God and in the knowledge of man. This is the day or night that no matter what will happen, no material or none material things that can separate them, not even finances and sicknesses. Before having sex, it is important to say to the partner; "till death do us part". Therefore, honey is the culmination of the couple to separate themselves in death only. Go bless and enjoy.

   God bless and enjoy.

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